Thursday, November 11, 2004
The Bible kid style
I thought some of these were so cute. These are said to be written by actual students and are genuine.
"In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off"
"Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree"
"Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark, NOah built and ark which made the animals come in pears"
"Lots wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night"
"The Jews were proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic genitals"
"Samson was a strong man who led himself astray by a Jezebel like Delilah"
"Samson slayed the phillistines with the axe of the apostles"
"Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients"
"The Ejyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards Moses went up on mount cyanide to get the 10 commendments"
"the first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The fifth commandment is to humor thy mother and thy father. The seventh commandment is to not admit adultery"
"Moses died before he even reached Canada, then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him"
"David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar, he fought with finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times"
Solomon one of Davids sons had 300 wives and 700 porcupines"
"When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus she sang magna carta"
"When the 3 wise guys from the east arrived they found Jesus in a manger, Jesus was born because Mary had Immaculate contraptions"
"Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained "man doth not live on sweat alone"
"The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibles"
"The Epistles were wives of the Apostles"
"St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached Holy acrimony which is a name for marriage"
Picture taken from designedtoat.com