Winterr's words

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Praying Couples and the Trinity

I know how valuable prayer is to a sole person, so it would make sense to pray with your partner, or spouse.
The statistics of married couples who pray together are pretty cool.
Some surveys say that whilst the divorce rate for Christians is not particularly less than those outside the Church, Christian couples who pray together have a divorce rate of less than 1%
I think that alone is pretty amazing.
Since I'm getting married some time in the future, you need not be surprised at me taking such and interest :)
I came across something really interesting in the bible, (Ecc. 4:12) "A cord of 3 strands is not easily broken".... so adding God into a marriage would certainly guide, strengthen and protect it.
I read about some benefits of praying together also which are:

1. We can pray together issues that we face, bringing them together to God, rather than trying to solve them on your own.
2. Praying together can build trust between two partners, allowing issues and joys to be shared openly.
3. Keep Christ at the centre of the marriage, allowing his protection, healing and forgiveness where necessary

I have also read something interesting in a book called "God at Work" by Phillip Cody, here he uses the Icon of the Trinity as an example, he writes:

The Greek word "Ikon" means a living image. I cons are a window into heaven, imaging and making present the living reality pictured. We need to contemplate and pray in the presence of an icon to get drawn into that image and life ourselves.
I have chosen the Icon of the trinity (Andrei Rublev, Fifteenth centrury) to illustrate some of the elements of love and community in God. Here is a picture of God, which can be a powerful model for Christian Marriage and Family Life.
The three angels sitting at the table are messengers of God, who foreshaddow God as a Trinity of three persons: The Father at the left, Jesus in the centre and the spirit on the right. The building behind, on the left symbolizes the Temple of God, the presence of God, the tree in the middle represents the Tree of Life, the Cross of Jesus, source of Life, the mountain on the right stands for God's revelation, work of the Holy Spirit.
In the Icon are three distinct persons who are very much a unity. They resemble each other and yet they are different. They are three and yet to take one of the figures out of the scene would destroy the whole rhythm of the Icon. The three are obviously communicating with a real sense of unity in diversity, and yet with a love that is totally open to others.
We very soon feel part of the group, at home with them (Jn 14:23).
The three are seated and yet there is obvious movement of communication, dialogue and relationship amongst them.
In your prayer I am sure you will discover much more.....

I found the whole Icon example rather interesting and very well written. This book is great and since I'm getting married God willingly soon, this book is just what I need, thanks to Fr. Frank for his second hand books!
posted by Grace B at 9:15 PM


okay i'm stepping out on extremely thin ice here so don't throw me a boat anchor right away . . . i’ll fall through here easy enough as it is . . . and its not my intent to be offensive . . . just (very happily) married and experienced over a long period of time . . .

this whole deal with praying with you spouse IS (WAS) THE MOST difficult task of our married lives . . . it is still only limping along . . . but now at least there is enough discernable growth and movement to the point of legitimately being described as progress . . . this topic oddly enough is very directly linked to the sexual relationship between a husband and his wife . . . thus the necessity for passages discussing prayers being hindered . . . the rationale scripture is describing and i am awkwardly working toward is that often overtime layers of resentment often accumulate in relationships between men and women . . . and more often that not . . . women tend to hold misunderstood feelings, things said in anger, and the emotional fall out of intense long term meaningful relationship longer and more dearly than their insensitive and ‘remedial class’ counter parts on the male side of the isle . . .

YES i am aware that was a very broad generalization and when you paint with that broad of a brush you tend to get paint on everything . . . but i have limited resources to work with here so . . . often if you look . . . i mean really look closely at couples that have been married for a long time many are not sexually active and coincdentially those are the same individual that CANNOT pray together . . .why? i’m gald you asked . . . they don’t pray together because the root cause is . . . allowing the sun to go down on our anger and wrath before the darkness (as in the sun of day) falls . . . or perhaps the darkness potentials within a relationship begins to fall . . . the affinity between an active prayer life and sexuality is squarely focused on the issue of “ONENESS” and oneness MUST be maintained . . . it is NOT automatic . . .

paul mentions words like . . . make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (eph 4:3) . . . or . . . until we all to reach unity in the faith (eph 4:13) . . . st. john speaking of completing unity says . . . may they be brought to complete unity . . . obviously if they are brought to it they weren’t in it before it is implied to be progressional and requires maintenance and we often experience failures when dealing with it . . . it becomes an issue of WHAT WE DO WITH UNITY (or oneness) AFTER these things occur . . . maintaining a supple heart despite the crap that happens . . . GREAT post!!!

feel free to begin throwing the large sinking objects at any point and i will quickly go away beneath the surface of this thin ice that i am now standing on . . . again great post!! keep up the good work!

1:08 PM  

I will not be throwing a boat anchor! ;) In fact, I "want" to hear from married and experienced persons, because this is very new to me.
I can see how praying could be a very difficult task in a marriage, and with effort it has got better for you , even if limping along.
That is interesting about this being linked to the sexual relationship between husband and wife also, I can certainly see why.
Yes women do focus on the more emotional, and take to heart the misunderstood feelings and hold on (now I may be in trouble!) to them, where as I do see men being very different to that, although sometimes we can be surprised.
We have long heard that men can be "insensitive" lol.
You mentioned "not letting the sun go down in anger" I recently posted about this, I heard that 3 elderly couples were interviewed about their long lasting marriage (they were close to 100 years old btw) and they were asked "what is your secret to staying together" They had all said.."we don't let the sun go down before making up" I was amazed that all 3 had the same thing to say.
Sexual relationships need to stay strong, I can see it getting difficult after babies and long hours at work, it's certainly a challenge i'm sure, especially since men have the more physical desire and women tend to need that emotional coaxing, so all has to come together some how, but who am I to talk about this since i'm not married yet! No one will listen to me, which is why I like to hear from the more experienced, people who are facing and have faced the challenges.
Marriage is something to be worked on forever, with different challenges arising all the time I guess.
I like what Paul mentions and the words he uses in the scripture you pointed out, there seriously needs to be a unity maintained, and I especially like how he throws in the word "peace", because resentment grows bigger, grudges are held and things can just spiral downhill fast if we do not draw attention to them.
Thanks for your comment, it is something I will think about and am glad you brought this up, it's not just prayer that needs the attention, it seems to be many things.
God bless you David and feel free to voice it out! :)

4:17 PM  

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